brash: impertinent; impudent; tactless
arrogant: making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud
I was recently called brash and arrogant for stating that I didn't wear makeup because I didn't need it. In an effort to keep things in context, I wasn't tooting my horn. There was a discussion being had about wearing a full face of makeup. I was asked why I chose not to. My response was:
"because I don't need it"
I was met with a turned up nose and the statement that I must think I'm better than women who do wear makeup. This confused me because my reply wasn't about ANYONE ELSE but ME. You asked me why I didn't wear makeup and I answered you; because you didn't like my answer, you assume I think I'm better than you and any woman who chooses to wear makeup. Ok.
This lead me to ask someone else if the woman who asked me the question was being a little sensitive. After playing back the conversation to them, their assesment was that because I didn't offer any further explanation as to WHY I didn't wear makeup, it makes me come across as brash and arrogant.
Seriously?
How did I become the bad guy for answering a direct question, directly? I didn't give my opinion as to why other women wear makeup. I didn't even say that I don't think women need makeup. I said nothing in reference to anyone but myself. So I can't choose to not wear makeup because I don't need to? Or is there a problem here that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me? I'm going to say the latter.
The other day, a makeup artist stated that all women should wear makeup and those who don't, need to "get their life". She went on further to assume that if you don't wear makeup, you must not really love yourself because why wouldn't you want to enhance what you already have. Her statements were not in regards to just herself. She targeted an entire group of women to attack...simply because they weren't anything like her. I don't agree with her at all and I definitely don't think that all women's self-esteem is tied up in their beauty. Never mind that everyone can't wear makeup and there are some women who don't like it on THEIR face.
I'm brash and arrogant though, right?
This is the perfect example of up being down, left being right, and right being wrong. Had she asked me a question that focused on all women and makeup, she would have gotten a totally different answer. However, her question was directed only to me. When did communication change to where I should be answering every question as if I'm speaking for everyone? I will not speak for all women in a LOT of areas because I do some things differently. I don't want someone who does things differently than me, speaking for me either.
Yet, I'm still the problem.
This is why I've never been a fan of majority rule because it brushes aside those who think outside of the norm. Being different isn't something that I do so that I can get brownie points for being unique. EVERYONE has something about themselves that contrasts from others. At no point should they be called tactless or accused of feeling superior because of their diversity. Different doesn't automatically mean better or wrong. It means not the same.
Gurl, I totally feel you here. I am often dumbfounded at the way society demands certain things of us that many are so eager to give up. Eff that. Stand firm in who you are. Don't follow the crowd. I don't think your response was any more rude or pointed than the question itself, which as already a bit pertinent in and of itself.
ReplyDeleteAnd, just to be clear, this is coming from an individual who does wear a sparse amount of makeup, sometimes, when I feel like it... and I don't give a crap whether others do or not. Whatever rocks your boat, yeah? Cuz I'm over here rocking my own world, thank you very much!
"Ain't nobody got time for all that!" :)
This reminds me of what we were talking about the other day & how people communicate (or don't really, lol). It's good you know who you are and are grounded, when people respond like that it can be easy to get confused and start to change how you respond to things because of other people's reactions which isn't what should happen. People are so...idk.
ReplyDeleteAndi-Roo - I've never been one to conform my personal standards unless there was a clear and present need to do so. By need I mean, changing before I have to. I've never considered makeup to be one of those things because I'm not doing anything in my life that would even require me to wear it. It's annoying when people push their personal preferences off on others as mandatory living. Whatever happened to being concerned about yourself and leaving people alone if they aren't bothering you? They say things come full circle so I'll be elated when this pushy way of thinking fades to black.
ReplyDeleteAimee - As confusing as some situations might be, if there is no sensible dialog had, the likelihood of me changing how I communicate probably won't happen. While I do think our feelings are important to take into consideration, the way people approach one another should be taken into consideration. It's highly irrational to call me brash & arrogant when I was minding my business and saying nothing, you know? LOL crazy shit...